


Safe

by kroas_adtam



Series: Prompts-One Shots [10]
Category: All Time Low (Band)
Genre: Based on an All Time Low Song, COVID, M/M, Merrikat, Q - Freeform, Quarantine, Wake Up Sunshine, all time low - Freeform, safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:29:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26884420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kroas_adtam/pseuds/kroas_adtam
Summary: Loneliness bloomed hard in the quarantine, it's hard to stay out of your own head.It's hard to stay Safe.
Relationships: Jack Barakat/Zack Merrick
Series: Prompts-One Shots [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/905988
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Safe

Zack stood on his balcony, hands resting on the railing. He looked out to the clouds that were obscuring the mountain far off. The noise of his three best friends chatting became distant and far off. He watched some birds disappear into the clouds, wondering what it was like to live free like that.

“Zee?”

Zack looked to see Jack opening the sliding door and coming out with a beer in his hand, handing it to Zack.

“Thanks,” Zack said, taking the beverage from his friend, returning his attention to the clouds in the distance.

“What is it?” Jack asked, leaning against the railing, watching Zack watch the sky.

“Nothing… Just… overthinking again.” His fingernail caught the tab to the beer can, making a plinking sound he repeated a few times more before setting the unopened can on the railing.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jack asked after a moment of silence. Something had been weighing Zack down for days, weeks, maybe even months. This was the first time the three of them had been comfortable enough to come to Hawaii after the travel ban had been lifted. Jack was afraid that lockdown had taken a hard toll on Zack’s mental health.

Zack looked at Jack, gave him a soft smile, then looked back down to his beer can. “Nothing to really talk about.”

“Hey, come on, you promised me you wouldn’t keep stuff from me anymore.” Jack said sternly, setting down his own can of half-drunk beer. Zack ran his finger over the rim of his own can, then looked over his shoulder at Rian and Alex who were yelling at a football game on the television. He braced his hands on the railing, shifted his weight to his other foot and finally looked at Jack.

“Everyone’s so happy, Jay.” He sighed, looked down at the wood on his balcony. “I just… I guess I’m just lonely.”

Jack’s eyebrows pulled together, he put a hand on Zack’s. “You’re not alone--”

“No, I mean-” He stood straight, staring at Jack’s hand over his. “Alex has Lisa, Rian’s got his new girl, and I’m just… left in the dust.”

“What’m I? Chopped liver?” Jack said, hurt in his voice.

Zack gave another soft smile. “You never have a problem keeping company, and I’m jealous, I wish I could love like you do.”

Jack looked towards the mountain this time, losing his train of thought, trying to find the right words. “I might not have a problem finding someone to fill the space, but I’ve never had anyone that makes me feel… safe.” He looked back at Zack who was watching him with that look that only Zack could give. He smiled slightly at the bassist. “I missed coming here more than you could imagine. I wish I had gotten stuck quarantining with you.” He laughed a bit. “Although, beer on the island is way more expensive than in LA. Maybe you should’ve quarantined with me.”

Zack smiled, and turned his gaze back to the birds, the clouds, the mountain. “It’s been hard…”

“I know…” Jack said quietly, stepping closer, this time putting his arm around Zack’s broad shoulders. “I know it has, Zee.” He rested his cheek against Zack’s temple. “Why don’t you come back with me? We need to get you out of your house and take some time to get away.”

“But Alex and Ri--”

“Pft, I didn’t say they could come. Just you and me, just some Jay-Zee bonding time.” Jack grinned.

“Never call us that again,” Zack laughed a bit, leaning a bit more into Jack. “Where would we go? There’s not many places we can freely go right now.”

“The cabin in Montana, I’ll see if it’s available.” Jack said, matter of factly. He closed his eyes a bit, feeling the sun on his skin, the warmth of Zack’s skin against his cheek.

“You hate the lake.” Zack said quietly, worrying about Jack putting himself out just for his sake.

“Hush, you know I don’t when we get to hang out.”

“But Jay, I can’t ask you to put yourself out, you’ve been quarantined too, you should get out and do something you want to--”

“Zack, you have to stop thinking that way.” He turned his head and gave Zack a soft kiss on the temple that could’ve brought the bassist to tears. It had been so long since he had felt anyone give him genuine affection. Jack’s little kisses weren’t unusual for the boys, they were all used to the guitarist being affectionate. But Jack’s love language meant the most to Zack. Even though he’d never admit it.

  
  


That night, Zack was laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was dark, except for the beam of moonlight coming in through his partially open curtains, falling perfectly over his chest. He couldn’t stop overthinking. Covid had force-restarted his life, it felt like. A new beginning sounded nice, but he didn’t know how to take that step forward. To start running free into what he wanted. He turned his head and looked at the empty space next to him in his large bed.

What he wanted…

What did he want?

The biting sting of tears made his heart pick up pace, his nose burned, his eyes welled. Zack covered his face, pressing his palms into his eyes, and tried to hold it in.

He wanted what he couldn’t have.

Zack had a friend who was a practicing witch, she asked if she could do an Oracle card reading for him. She was worried, Zack’s loneliness, his fear of being hurt, his anxieties about his life, they were really taking a toll on him. He agreed, not really believing in such things, but when she pulled the cards, she just looked him dead in the eyes and told him to stop avoiding letting people in. The Universe had sent Zack someone, and he was refusing to listen.

In the dark of his room, Zack sobbed out a choked laugh thinking about that red card. The Great Severing, she had said. Mars energy, anger, but softening to love. She had said the cards were ruthless. And in the spread she was showing him, and explaining to him, the cards had said ‘Hey dumbass, listen to the universe and let this person in.’ Her words- or rather, the cards words- not his.

Anytime Zack thought of that card, dunes of red sand against a grey starlit abyss, anytime he thought of the meaning, he thought of the one he was afraid of.

His shoulders shook as he tried to calm himself, and keep the dam from opening. A few deep breaths, he stayed the panic attack. He let his hands fall from pressing against his eyes to laying on his chest. A few more shaky breaths, and he returned to staring at the ceiling, his mind shifting into white noise, like it always did after an episode.

He didn’t know how much time passed as he lay there, staring in the darkness. As soon as he felt sleep start to creep in, there was a quiet knock on his door. He looked towards it and blinked unsure if he actually heard a knock.

“Zack?” Jack whispered, cracking the door open, peeking in. “Are you awake?”

Zack sat up a bit, looking worried. “Yeah, Jay, everything alright?”

“Um…” The taller man stood awkwardly in the doorframe and twisted his finger. “It’s real dumb, but I had a petty bad nightmare, and the bugs outside wont stop making noise, and it’s quieter in here, and--”

Zack smiled and patted the empty space next to him. “You don’t have to ask, Jay.”

Jack closed the door behind him, climbed over Zack and settled into place next to him with a sigh. Zack watched him for a second before laying down himself. One of the other cards showed in his mind's eye. Jump In. It said to take a leap, have courage.

Courage.

Zack turned on his side, facing Jack, to find the other watching him.

“What?” Zack asked quietly.

“I’m worried about you.” Jack responded, tucking his arm under his head.

“I’m okay, Jay. I will be, anyway.” Zack said, reaching out a hand, not even thinking and tracing Jack’s tattoo. Jack looked a little surprised but didn’t pull away.

“Zack, what aren’t you telling me?” Jack asked, reaching up and resting his fingers on Zack’s arm wrist, not pushing him away, but just… keeping him close.

Zack watched his fingers trace Jack’s tattoo in the moonlight. “I don’t know what it is… I just…”

“What?” Jack asked, scooting forward, his warm fingers now tracing Zack’s tattoo in return.

“You make me feel… safe.” Zack said, now tracing his fingers over Jack’s side. 

“Safe,” Jack echoed, coming closer, nearly pressed to Zack. The bassist rested his trailing hand on Jack’s side, looking into his eyes. “ _Better keep that thought to yourself._ ” He whisper sang, his dark eyes gazing into Zack’s hazel.

“ _When you find that place and it only lasts for a minute,_ ” Zack mumbled wrapping his arm around Jack, resting his hand on his lower back, slowly pulling him close.

Jack put a hand on Zack’s jaw, his thumb brushing his bottom lip. “I don’t want this to last for just a minute,” Jack whispered low, their noses barely touching.

_So put the courage on and don’t stop runnin’ till you’re long gone_

“I’ve been running after you so long, I won’t ever look back and let you go.” Zack said, closing his eyes at Jack’s gentle touch.

_They’ll never slow you down if you never look over your shoulder._

“You’re safe with me.” Jack said, their, lips now brushing.

“You’re safe with me,” Zack reiterated, wrapping his arms around Jack’s slim waist, pulling him as close as he could get, their kiss lighting up the room the way the moon couldn’t.

_Safe, we can keep that thought to ourselves._

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, yes i managed to get inspiration and write a one-off to get me back in the swing of things.
> 
> My depression has only been settled by listening to Safe by All Time Low for 27 straight hours. It may or may not still be playing (:  
> I'm not saying i'm the witch, nor am I saying I pulled those exact cards for my own reading,, but I am the dumbass that refuses to let people in.
> 
> *yes I slightly changed the lyric, don't come for me. it fit the story better this way.


End file.
